PERSONAL EXPERIENCES OF
KUNDALINI AWAKENING

In this section I will look at some experiences of kundalini activity. Most of these case studies were obtained by a personal request for information through the Internet. For confidentiality I will refer to each person as a case study. Each of the participants agreed to supply their birth data and relevant details about their kundalini experiences. It may be that some of the cases indicated have not had genuine kundalini arousal but in order not to eliminate genuine cases on the basis of my lack of knowledge I have included all the case studies that presented themselves. I also present the written accounts as they were sent to me without corrections for grammar, etc.

The first account, Case A, gave his account as follows: "In 1988 I was meditating and noticed that my body was swaying ever so lightly back and forth of it's own volition. It was not my will moving it. Somehow I felt that I had tuned into some sort of cosmic vibration. It felt good. It felt right.

It was around the same time that I was fooling around with a ouija board by myself. I noticed that my hand(s) would move of their own volition. What appeared to be some sort of gibberish would be spelled out. But the strange thing was that the same gibberish would be spelled out over and over again. I notice that there was some sort of order to this gibberish. Words like "NA PON O" and MZNA BA N ZI JI" are a very small example.

I began meditating with the ouija board on my lap. My body would sway back and forth and this gibberish would be spelled out on the ouija board. I then began to feel what I can only describe as "psychic impressions" upon my mind. Ideas and concepts were being pushed into my head. I began to understand what was being related to me through the gibberish appearing on the ouija board.

This started when I was 34 years old. I am now 43. One of the first things I noticed was that everything that was being related to me was of an intangible nature. That is, they were things that were incapable of being touched physically. Things like LOVE which is referred to as DA. MA - which is also a form of love. It is the energy that makes the flowers grow and what we call sexual energy. There is CA, which relates to fear, anger, jealousy and other negative emotions. "SRON" which is the will. "GE" which is thought. The term, "NOP" is a verb - is causal- things are brought about through "NOP". The term "PON" works in reverse. So if I were to say "CA PON O" it would mean my fear has decreased. What it would actually mean is that the energy in my solar plexus chakra has been moved to the heart chakra. "O" is a desired state of being. When "O" is achieved it means one is operating through the heart centre. A phrase such as "GE DA NOP O" means literally, "thoughts of love bring about a well balanced happy individual". I realise that what I am saying may seem a little far fetched. But I swear that I have not invented this. It's too far out to be a hoax. This does, by the way tie in with kundalini. I will continue.

I was little by little , being given a description of a world or plane of existence tied to ours - two worlds that are dependent upon each other. We create thought. We are thought manufacturers. Our thoughts chain together like DNA molecules - thought molecules. They chain together in infinite combinations. These combinations are ingested by higher forms of consciousness which in turn manifest what they ingest. We therefore, in a round about way, create ourselves. We are all one. Infinite expression in infinite dimensions. On and on and on and on.

When I was 38 years old I was sitting at my desk writing when my hand began to move of it's own volition on a notepad. As it did a picture emerged. This was a picture of the sign of infinity drawn many times over itself with the number one place behind it. At the same time both of my hands began to vibrate - they became very cold. I stood up from my chair and at the same time it was as if the entire veil of reality was lifted and for a very brief time I stood in the presence of a life force beyond description. It hummed at a very low vibration. The crazy thing is that I "recognised it" I knew it. I began to cry.

That was a point of change in my life. From that point I didn't us a ouija board. Ideas are impressed upon me constantly. The spirit is always with me. It moves through my body in the form of a sine wave never ending. I can feel and see it moving thru the top of my head. This is my KUNDALINI. The funny thing is there are two forces at work - three if you count me. There is the fatherly/motherly personality which guides me throughout my life. There is the sine wave which buzzes about my body all the time; and then there is me! Kinda sorta like "FATHER, SON, & HOLY GHOST!"

During the last five years I have grown immensely and with this growth I have experienced a lot of physical discomfort; a burning numbness across my chest, under my chin, and I am presently experiencing it around the top of my head, my hands and in my kidneys; itching all over; blurred vision; twitching and weird sensations of energy moving in various parts of my body; a huge increase in my sexual urges; dizziness and a change in my appetite and diet. There have been times when I thought I was going mad. I thought I had Multiple Sclerosis. Doctors could find nothing wrong with me. It is only in the last few months that I have even heard of Kundalini. I came across a book and it described the sine wave. I freaked out! Wow! I thought - this sounds like what I have been dealing with! So here I am!

My hands vibrate all the time. I have began healing. What I should say is that my SOURCE uses me as an instrument to heal others. I want you to understand that I was quite chakra illiterate until quite recently. I really didn't follow any sort of Hindu teachings whatsoever and am still not that well read. What happened was that my SOURCE began moving my hands to various parts of my body and point and spin my finger around in a spiral and tell me HIS name for it. I will relate them to you from the crotch up:

1)MA - sexual
2)CA - fear, jealousy, anger etc. - solar plexus
3)BA - intellect - at base of rib cage
4)Da - love - heart area in centre of chest
5)GA - joy, fun, laughter - where you would perform a tracheotomy
6)NA - trust - where Adam's apple is in front of neck
7)PA - inspiration, creation - throat area under chin
8)NA - third eye - between eyebrows - tied directly to Adam's apple
9)ZA - a band around the top of the head - seat of understanding - the crown

I am also told that I have chakras in the palms of my hands which are also DA; and chakras in the palms of my feet which HE calls WU. WU is earth energy. Today I can literally feel the energy moving in through the palms of my feet and moving up to my spine where it then waves it's way up through the top of my head. I can also feel energy moving in through the palms of my hands to my heart. According to my HOLY PARENT all healing is done by moving various CA energies through DA- the heart chakra, for cleansing. This would explain why DA is also in the palms of my hands. HE calls this process "MZNA".

My HOLY PARENT will enter my body when I meditate and move me around in various yoga poses such as placing my hands in the prayer position and hold them over my various chakras; up over my head to a place at the base of my neck or the top of my spine to a place he calls QA. This spot is pointed out to me to be a very important area where a force called "RON" exits the body. My arms are also extended right out in front of me with the palms face up. When this happens my hands feel like they are receiving mild electric shocks.

I could go on and on and I will but not now. I realise that what I have related to you is a little out of the ordinary. But I am no ordinary guy. What I have said is true and from the heart. We are all unique creations and each one of course carries infinity within. I have trust that ALL will find a way - one way or another.

The first time I noticed the sine wave within self was in the fall of 1988. As I state in my history the wave was there but the intensity was no where near what it is today. My kundalini has been gradual, with three definite stages to date. Physical changes also started happening in 1988. A second boost occurred in January - March 1993. In my history this was when I was automatic writing and the veil was lifted and I began to cry. A third boost happened in November of 1997. The things that are happening to me now are amazing; something out of a sci-fi novel! I am changing so much now it is absolutely incredible; nothing short of metamorphosis. Let me tell you my friend it isn't all peaches and cream. This is the greatest challenge I have ever faced! If I am successful it will be the greatest achievement I have ever completed! When one walks into the unknown alone, fear is always present. Courage is a necessity. Sometimes it can be quite difficult."

Case B had what she considered to be a severe kundalini arousal in the northern summer of 1997. The experience lasted over several months before it slowed down, and now occasionally 'flashes' again, usually following "really emotional situations or the scarier memories of the experience."
B is not sure what triggered the experience but did notice flashes of clairvoyance and past life recall the summer before and had also been suffering from anxiety which she said was partly from the experiences and partly from school/work. She felt the anxiety may have triggered it.

Case C referred to a kundalini 'explosion' on 1 March 1993 which she described as mystical samadhi, heavenly experience rather similar to a near death experience (tunnel) going out of the body. Eleven months later on 27 January 1994 she had another explosion with frightening visions and psychotic reactions.

Case D attended a class to learn channelling around 1990. During the process she experienced an 'opening' as an electrical bolt to the head with flashes of red and white light. She thought she might be channelling, particularly as she was 'receiving' some helpful information. About a year later she started having lots of psychic and synchronous experiences. She was diagnosed as bipolar (or manic-depressive) after some pretty outrageous (and fun) behaviour. She said that as a result of her 'illness' she has a very high level of creativity, the ability to see 'thought forms', 'light beings', auras or energy fields and conjure up people in parallel universes (or as referred to by her psychiatrist, "hallucinate during psychotic episodes").

Case E experienced what he first considers kundalini arousal at the age of five. For a period of about six months he "could not see anything as solid, but vibrating light, even people to be vibrating and very much dispersed. I used to ask my mother about it, she said not to worry, it would go away in its own time. The experience was strong and vivid." Afterwards, he said he had about 9-15 experiences and felt that "this world is a special place to work and know myself. I took up studying religious literature from age 7 as soon as I learnt to read and write. It was a slow process as I used to read put my fingers under each word and read and try to understand its meaning. I was taken to many religious dramas at the time, like Mahabharata, Ramayana, Shirr Krishna Vrindaban Lila and similar ones, I used to feel strong sexual arousal and at the same time, tears used to roll down my cheeks, continuously and profusely. Although the sexual arousal part I did not quite understand at that early age. Doctors said that I was suffering from religious melancholia. From age ten to twelve , the symptoms subsided, I became strong in my studies and outside games like soccer, tennis, swimming etc. At age 15 ran away from home, and did a three week retreat under the guidance of tantrik Guru ,who had initiated me, at age ten. The retreat was in a cremation grounds, about a square mile in area. During this time I had seen spirits too, materialized in human form. I had similar experience around age 21 and then again in 1992 There was this wide gap in between, yet I never stopped my spiritual practices, to this day. 1995 onwards, experienced telepathy on an ongoing basis, till the present. All the experiences were on the strong category and very transformational."

In July, 1998 Case E wrote the following: "I am going through another major change in my life during this time. The Lord is showing me the way, and gently guiding me through it through trials and tribulation for the past 13 months. I am seeing the Light at the end of this tunnel, and its positive and empowering. I feel secure and nurtured by the Lord, in my life now. Seeds planted years ago are coming to mature into the lovely tree, finally, through Lord's Grace, for which I am thankful to HIM and to all those, through whom HE chose to make me learn and grow."

Case F had her first kundalini awakening during Transcendental Meditation in June 1997. It felt very peaceful at first and she began to feel detached from her old ideas and way of life. It was worth pointing out that she said she had mixed meditation with drug use and had serious mental problems for many years. In addition to Transcendental Meditation she was also involved in the Hare Krishna movement.

Case G first recognised a kundalini arousal while doing 'transformational breathing' (breathing exercises). About two years before he had been diagnosed as having a light stroke. "But everything that should go with a stroke were missing, i.e. blocked arteries, speech impairment, etc. There were several symptoms which I have since found to be associated with Kundalini arousal, (problems with left leg and foot -lack of feeling, numbness), depression, etc." He said that the kundalini arousal is ongoing and experiences energy flow several times a week.

Case H had a more gradual awakening since the late 1980's which eventually catapulted her into a "huge roaring opening" in February 1994. The experiences lasted two years but she still has many ongoing kundalini symptoms. "I spent the latter half of 1996 and most of 1997 in emotional upheaval which seemed to be a process of integration. This process really turns your life upside down and it's very hard to adjust sometimes, especially in relationships. I'm still trying to resolve some core issues. The K energy is also very healing though, and energy runs through my system many nights in a sort of soothing process of repair." She goes on to say, "I've meditated since 1984. Used creative visualisation techniques since 1985. Took TM in 1991 and some energy healing classes in 1992 and 1993. I also did some Past Life regressions in 1987. I think that classes where you explore and develop yourself in spiritual ways all contribute to Kundalini awakening. Having said that, I will also say that I often feel as if this is all part of a plan. It's as if I've always known that this would take place. It seems familiar somehow at times, almost a deja-vu sensation."

Case I began her experience on 1 January 1996 with 'tetany' symptoms -- hand cramping and unusual muscle contractions. Although relatively mild, the symptoms were strong enough for her to go to the hospital emergency department to find out what was going on. It turned out that there was no physical explanation for the symptoms. Describing her experience she said, "This first experience lasted a couple of days, not constant but off-and-on, and came back at times when I was overtired, particularly. Then it tapered off and nothing noticeable until November of 1997, when a particularly intense and different experience occurred, this time what felt like a transcendent experience, a feeling of oneness with the universe, and some other cool stuff. This lasted most of one afternoon. Then, about a month later, (December 28th) another, similar experience (also set down in words and available), this one more intense and lasting longer, afternoon and into the night. Following that, the experiences have been less intense but I'm getting a more lasting feeling of peacefulness..."
Case I had participated in meditation practices for the last 20 years and "meditated using several eastern methods, from Yoga practices to Tai Chi and other martial arts-related things...not practising the meditation super-regularly, but enough to help me de-stress..."

Case J has a detailed and lengthy account of his kundalini experience on the 'Spiritweb' site on the Internet (http://www.diaryofawareness.com). It is called "Diary of Awareness, Kundalini and Life" and is excerpted from many letters which were sent and received by him from specific people and tailored to specific people, not meant to be an absolutely definitive statement about anything and meant to encourage people needing help with their own already active kundalini. I will extract two segments from it here:

(To a friend:)
"As far back as I can remember I've had OBE's, but have never been interested in them enough to want to try to control them. For a while I would generate a second body (in the image of my physical), but now I usually just find myself expanding--I don't mean my physical body, or any body, expands-- I mean my awareness expands, so that I feel like I'm looking in all directions at once, or else I just see scenes of other places, times, etc., without going anywhere at all. It's like the places come to me, instead of my going to them--this holds true for all planes. Back in June or 1978 I was living with some people on a farm in Alberta when I thought I was coming down with the flu or something-- I felt nauseous, light-headed, etc., so I went to my place to lay down and started to relax my body-- I thought I might as well try to do a conscious OBE, since I was lying down and going nowhere-- I must have done it for about 15-20 minutes or so when this blast of energy went through me from below my toes and up out the top of my head and I went into a complete bliss state for I don't know how long--if the best sex imaginable were a '1', this was off the scale at the other end. Some time later I felt the energy 'turn', for want of a better word, and head downward. After that all I can remember is this huge vortex of energy point-down over my sternum/mid-section, and my being drawn up into it and disappearing-- I can remember starting up, and I can remember coming back, but nothing in between. I can remember lying on my bed and doing nothing but laughing--just laughing and laughing, for God knows how long afterwards. When I finally looked at the clock something like four hours had passed. I finally got up and went outside and the whole world had changed--it was like everything was transparent-- like holding a 35mm slide up to the sun and looking through it-- except that the physical sun, the one in the sky, was also transparent, and there was this huge, intensely bright "sun" that I could see shining through everything (like looking through a slide at the sun). People, trees, dogs, cats, horses, sun, stars, clouds, --I was looking at this huge intense sun through everything. My body had no weight--I wasn't floating, but I couldn't tell when I sat on something whether I was on it or above/around it. People said I was glowing, said they could see it even in the sunlight (I couldn't see it, but I could feel it). I remember a couple of days later it started to rain--I had no sense of cold or warm so I just sat out in it to see it--I remember sitting there and the rain was just pouring down, and I was looking at the raindrops as they fell and there was this tiny blue Buddha in each one--each raindrop. I remember sitting out in the rain watching this and just laughing my head off. I remember sitting and doing what I've come to call 'watching the world being made'-- looking up in the sky and seeing an outline of a huge tree, and then there are successively smaller trees 'cascading' down to finally arrive at the physical tree on the ground. This state of affairs lasted until about mid September of that year, and slowly things returned to 'normal', but not really. I started pursuing a crash course in Eastern philosophy, which I had before that basically dismissed- - I needed to find new or at least different ways of thinking and new models for things, but mostly I just wanted to compare notes--compare with the authors of the books, but also find some common ground so I could share with other people--I had may private maps that worked fine for me, but I couldn't give them to someone else.

So, I did the Eastern spiritual thing, meditated, which I'd never done before and which now was mostly spontaneous and highly desirable as far as I was concerned. Learned a lot. Two years and a bit later, I moved back to BC, lived in a small cabin up in the mountains outside Nelson, and meditated a lot--got up one morning, went down the path the visit my dogs (had two huskies at the time), looked out over the meadow and found I could change my vision to see anything I wanted--I could look at the distant mountains, think that I could see them up close, and suddenly I could see every detail, and they appeared to be right in front of me. I thought this was neat, then I looked around and found I was looking through my body at the world, like my body was a view-port to the world, like my body was one of those rubber gloves that are attached to the sides of a sterile box, and you put your hand into the glove and into the box, only my body belonged to the world, was a part of it, and not just attached to the side. Next thing I knew I was aware of being a bright 'sun' in a field of bright suns, and we were maintaining the field of the world, creating the world, in the 'space' between us, like a hologram floats in space, and we were all in perfect instantaneous telepathic linkup.

Other stuff happened, I moved to the west coast, other stuff happened. One that stands out: I wake up in the middle of the night for some reason, and I'm drifting back to sleep, but only my body, I'm wide awake. I start expanding, no big deal, done that before, but this time it's different. I go to a point where I'm seeing millions, billions of blue stars, blue pearls--like grains of sand on the beach. I look into them to see what's in them, and they're like zillions of polarities--on one end, call it the top, of each blue pearl, were the highest forms like saints, gurus, buddhas, etc, and on the other end were the polar opposites of them, the Hitlers, worse. What struck me most was my reaction to the polarities--from my point of view they seemed of equal value--Jesus and Hitler, no difference. Diamonds and dog shit, no difference. Then I found myself moving again, this time becoming this tremendously huge figure, looking in all directions at once, and out of my mouth was pouring all of these blue stars, these blue pearls, like a river, an ocean. I'd been there before, so I wasn't too surprised at that (but I hadn't noticed the river of blue, and hadn't looked into them). Next, I found myself moving again, going back to the blue stars, and I was breathing into them, like blowing into them, and they were vibrating--like blowing on violin strings-- and they started to hum and to produce sounds and the energies in them started to flow between the polarities, and they made life on all planes in all universes. Then I moved back up to the big blue figure and found that I was breathing into it and it was vibrating also, and producing the blue ocean of stars. And then I realized that what it meant to be the life of the world, and also the life of the life of the world.

Now, when I sometimes look out at the rain, sometimes I only see rain, sometimes I see little blue buddhas, and sometimes I see my own face in the raindrops."

(To a friend, Nov. 95:)
"Well, I guess I've been sort of off the planet for a while-- I'm still off the planet, but now my hands can at least find the keyboard on my computer. When I finished up that long string of work I was totally fed up with my life-- felt like I had to be anybody else but myself in order to survive, and if I was myself I'd starve to death. I'd got to the point where surviving was nothing but a nuisance, and a waste of my time. I'd been feeling that way for quite a while, but it sort of came to a head. I decided that what I wanted for my birthday was my own life back-- and I was serious. I went to bed one night, just started relaxing, but thinking intently about how much of myself I'd given away simply in order to make a living and to be able to be part of this local community, and I was lying there when suddenly this huge column of light came down on me from above and hit me just about mid sternum and then sort of radiated outward in large ripples all around me-- like someone pouring water into me. I could feel all sorts of things being 'rearranged'-- for want of a better word-- stuff sort of being 'peeled' off of me-- the ripples extended down past my toes and up over my head. For the next couple of weeks I walked around sort of spanning creation-- like I had one half of me in infinite light and one half of me in the world, and I was this sort of bridge between the two-- immersed in this overwhelming love. The past week or so I've been slowly sliding back into the world, and I'm trying really hard not to feel trapped, trying to maintain the bridge-- especially since I need the feeling of love, the contact with that, to be able to stay here. I need that more than I need food for my body. I can feel that my physical life is very different now, but I don't quite yet know how. I'm really hoping that my body changes-- there's nothing I'd want more for myself than for my physical body to be able to live off that light. Back in '78 when I had that initial experience my overriding concern was how I was going to make a living-- it was like I couldn't be in both places at once, and yet I couldn't leave here. Maybe now I'll be able to be in both places. I don't know."

Case K was very precise in the timing of her first kundalini experience, giving 1:00am, 20 March 1997. Rather than severe she said, "I would say instead that it was "extreme." I saw brilliant lights, heard awesome sounds, and my body turned into something like a vibrating egg. I had two big waves of vibrations that were so intense I was not certain I would live through it. There was no fear, but I thought it was something coming into me from the outside. I had no foreknowledge whatsoever about kundalini. I found out what it was one week later, after having two less intense, but strong, episodes." She goes on to say that since then, "I have chronicled many episodes during the past ten months as the energy worked through different chakras. (I didn't know what a chakra was either!) The episodes followed those that I later found written about in the Tibetan Book of the Dead. The energy broke into the ajna chakra on 9/20/97, and since then has felt like I am wearing a beanie full of ants."

Prior to the experience Case K noticed persistent synchronicity which she referred to as "ongoing and impossible coincidences that would knock your socks off!"

Case L said that she had low level kundalini symptoms at age 28, severe symptoms at age 30 lasting four years. They were strong for two more years and mild ever since. The symptoms were most severe at the age of 33½. She stated, "I was always psychic, my family used telepathy on a regular basis. as a child it only took the forms of precognition and telepathy. After kundalini rising I lost precognitive abilities but gained clairvoyance and clairsentience, as well as psychokinetic ability. I also had a near-death experience November 3, 1966."

Case M said that her experience began on 17 September 1996 with a "mild rushing" which became very strong. These were waves [of energy] lasting one or two months each virtually nightly ever since. She is in an almost constant state of bliss as well as experiencing mild kriyas which can wake her out of deep sleep. The kundalini experience may have been connected with hatha yoga exercises.

Case N described her experience as follows: "Sometime in the spring of 1981 I got involved in a relationship with a man whose sun, moon and asc. were in the beginning of Scorpio, conjuncting my 29' Libra moon. (I have a copy of his chart somewhere, which I will have to dig up). While I had no spiritual path at the time, and no formal practice of meditation, I had been an art model for over a year which involved long periods of "sitting". This might have contributed to the experience. Anyway, now I would describe myself at that time as a sceptical materialist...so the events that unfolded were at first incredibly fun, then increasingly scary, until in the end I was almost suicidal. Fortunately, being in Berkeley, I was helped out by many friends and found a spiritual practice (Vipassana) which grounded and balanced me. At the time, however, the energy awakened in me produced some powerful effects, which I won't go into here. It sort of reached a peak around July 4, 1981, when there was a conjunction of Jupiter and Saturn on my sun. I have not done too much study of the astrology of the whole thing, although I felt that the transiting of Pluto over all my stuff for so long ultimately led to this. Also I have a "Kundalini" prone aspect...Mars conjunct Pluto natally. And I think there was something going on with Uranus."

Case O connects out of body experiences with the kundalini. Her first out of body experience was at the age of 29 (she is now 40) and had four in nine years. For four years she has kept having consistent visits from hawks, linking synchronicity with the experiences. Sometimes she has pains in her legs, and more recently has had severe anxieties about herself, something which she has never had before in her life.

I have no details of the experience had by Case P other than the fact that she had an experience in the summer of 1985 which was referred to me by a reliable source in Denmark.

Case Q received 'Shaktipat' through an esoteric Christianity-based group in 1971. As a result of this she said, "I walked around in another world for months, maybe years, all the time trying to "get back to normal," which, by the way, I finally succeeded in doing for the most part. Upon which, I almost immediately sought out a return to those blissful experiences."

Case R explains his experiences as not too extreme. It was more like the odd energy rush and some interesting dreams. He said, "…it was strong enough to push me into getting hold of lots of K resources so I could ride the wave without wiping out. (Which I did, as the dreams said I would.) The main after-effects is a general increase in psychic sensitivity."

Copyright © Charles Attfield, 1999 - 2002

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